How to Get a Grip on Your Life from Alcoholism | Henry J.
Listen or watch on your favorite platforms
YouTube
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
In this raw and powerful episode of Crosstalk, host Corey Raven sits down with long-time friend Henry Jay to dive into his journey from a promising young athlete to battling addiction and ultimately finding recovery. Henry opens up about growing up in Westchester, his passion for baseball, and how early exposure to alcohol planted the seeds for a long struggle ahead.
Henry shares how addiction took over his college years, leading him to dark places, isolation, and missed opportunities. From baseball scholarships to blackouts and rehab, Henry reflects on the pivotal moments that led to his decision to get sober. Now, nearly three years into recovery, Henry has built a thriving career, repaired family relationships, and found happiness in ways he never imagined.
Listeners will walk away inspired by Henry's resilience and his message that recovery is possible for anyone willing to seek help. If you're struggling or know someone who is, this episode is a testament to the power of second chances.
This episode will resonate with anyone facing personal struggles, addiction, or looking to turn their life around. Henry's honesty provides hope and encouragement, demonstrating that even the darkest times can lead to incredible growth and redemption.
Early Years – Seeds of Pain and Strength
Henry grew up in Bedford Hills, New York, the only child of loving, hard-working parents. His father, a psychiatrist, spent long hours at his practice, while his mother, Henry's pillar of strength, managed their home. "My dad was always working. Mom was superwoman," Henry recalls. An athlete from a young age, Henry threw himself into sports, bonding with his father over their shared love for baseball. "As soon as I was born, I was given a bat and a ball." Despite the camaraderie sports brought, there was a lingering discomfort Henry couldn't shake. "I never really felt super comfortable in my own shoes."
First Encounter with Addiction
Henry grew up in Bedford Hills, New York, the only child of loving, hard-working parents. His father, a psychiatrist, spent long hours at his practice, while his mother, Henry's pillar of strength, managed their home. "My dad was always working. Mom was superwoman," Henry recalls. An athlete from a young age, Henry threw himself into sports, bonding with his father over their shared love for baseball. "As soon as I was born, I was given a bat and a ball." Despite the camaraderie sports brought, there was a lingering discomfort Henry couldn't shake. "I never really felt super comfortable in my own shoes."
Henry’s drive to excel led him to Saint Peter's University on a baseball scholarship. Yet beneath the surface, insecurity and self-doubt brewed. "I substituted not dealing with my feelings by chasing this dream of playing professionally." For Henry, the baseball field became both an escape and a performance stage—a place to avoid confronting the unease that followed him.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
First Taste - A Dangerous Comfort
Henry's first drink came unexpectedly at a family wedding in Texas when he mistook a shot of whiskey for apple juice. "I vividly remember not being able to handle it at all," he laughs, a chuckle laced with hindsight. Drinking reemerged at 16 or 17. "I wasn't part of the popular crowd, but alcohol became a social bridge."
By college, drinking shifted from social lubricant to crutch. "The nerves of leaving home hit me hard. Alcohol became an outlet." Henry describes his Friday and Saturday routines at Saint Peter's—cheap malt liquor and tall boys. "I drank like I was running track and needed water. I didn't know when to stop." Blackouts became frequent. "My first blackout at 18 terrified me, but a week later, I was back at it."
Active Addiction - The Descent
Henry’s love for baseball began to unravel. Transferring schools three times in as many semesters, he struggled to find his footing. "I was living in a beach house in Milford. That’s when things really picked up." Drinking escalated, and marijuana became a staple. "I was a walking chimney."
His relationship with baseball faltered. "I developed the yips—couldn’t throw strikes. It killed my confidence." Feeling isolated from his team, Henry drifted further into substance use. "I started drinking before workouts and games." At his lowest point, Henry was involved in a blackout-fueled altercation that resulted in being escorted off campus. "Watching the footage of that night was sobering. I was horrified by what I saw."
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Hitting Bottom
Henry’s turning point came in the form of a tragic news story—a football player killed a woman while driving under the influence. "I was driving drunk regularly. When I heard that, it stopped me cold." Henry sought help. "I went to rehab voluntarily. I wanted to change." The experience peeled back layers of denial. "You see people who have been in addiction for 20 years. I realized if I didn’t stop, that would be me."
Rehab wasn't easy. "I wasn’t locked up, but I had to face myself. It was terrifying, but it saved my life." Henry completed six months of treatment, emerging with a new sense of purpose.
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
The Road to Recovery - Rebuilding and Thriving
Henry graduated college and started rebuilding. He pursued a career in insurance, thriving in his new environment. "I bought two rental properties and found joy in my work." Despite relapsing in 2019, Henry found his way back. "Hearing about that accident made me realize I couldn't do this anymore. I called someone, went to a meeting, and that was it."
Today, Henry is three years sober. "I’m in solar consulting now, thriving personally and professionally." His relationship with his parents, once strained, is stronger than ever. "I stopped trying to be my dad and started being myself." Henry is driven to help others. "I want to be the person people come to when they feel like they’re drowning."
Henry’s story serves as a beacon of hope for others navigating the road to recovery. "One day at a time, life gets better."
Make it stand out
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
FAQs
How do I know if I need help with addiction? – If substances or behaviors negatively impact your life or relationships, it might be time to seek help.
What are the first steps to getting sober? – Reach out to someone you trust, attend a meeting, or explore professional treatment options.
How can I prevent relapse? – Build a strong support network, stay connected to recovery communities, and stay vigilant of emotional triggers.
Is relapse part of recovery? – While not inevitable, relapse can happen. The important thing is to return to recovery immediately.
What’s the most important part of staying sober? – Consistency and willingness to seek help when struggling.
Related episodes
ABOUT CROSSTALK
CROSSTALK reveals real stories of everyday people and notable figures, sharing their journeys from struggles to life-changing 'aha' moments with all kinds .
