What Addiction Does to The Brain | Eric W.
Listen or watch on your favorite platforms
YouTube
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
In this episode of Crosstalk Podcast, we welcome Eric Weber—also known as Bow Tie—a leading addiction counselor with 25 years of experience in mental health, addiction recovery, and behavioral disorders. From working in correctional facilities to treating patients at Karen Treatment Centers, Eric has seen addiction from every angle. Today, he reveals the hard truths about addiction, relapse, and what actually works in recovery.
Eric shares his personal and professional journey, starting as a counselor in a prison system, where he saw the devastating cycle of addiction, crime, and recidivism. He later transitioned to working in mental health and addiction treatment, gaining deep insight into what drives addiction, why people relapse, and how recovery can truly happen. He discusses the compounded shame of relapse, the role of community in recovery, and why some people struggle to stay sober even after treatment.
In this conversation, Eric also explores the science behind addiction, explaining how dopamine dysregulation fuels compulsions and why modern vices like gambling, cannabis, and technology are rapidly becoming new addiction epidemics. He provides practical, no-BS advice for those in recovery, those considering treatment, and family members who are struggling to understand addiction.
Whether you’re battling addiction, supporting a loved one, or simply want to understand the psychology of compulsive behaviors, this episode is packed with powerful insights that can change lives. Tune in to learn why addiction isn’t just about substances, why some people relapse, and the single biggest factor that predicts long-term recovery.
Growing Up in a Complicated Home
From the outside, Eric’s childhood seemed picture-perfect—a suburban Pennsylvania home, a father in banking, a stay-at-home mother, and an older brother. But behind closed doors, it was a different story. His father, a highly functional alcoholic, maintained a strict household where emotions were suppressed, and questions were unwelcome. “Don’t fight, don’t act out, don’t ask questions.” Those unspoken rules shaped Eric’s childhood and left him questioning what was “normal.” His mother, deeply codependent, enabled the dysfunction, and Eric grew up feeling like something wasn’t quite right.
It wasn’t until he was an adult, already working in addiction counseling, that his mother called and asked, “What is an alcoholic?” That moment shattered years of silence, forcing Eric to confront the truth about his father and his family’s hidden struggles.
The First Drink and the Escape It Brought
Unlike many of the people he works with today, Eric didn’t personally struggle with substance use. However, addiction manifested in his family in other ways—compulsive shopping, rigid behavioral patterns, and emotional suppression. “When my father retired, the constraints were gone. That’s when the addiction really took over.” His dad’s need for control turned into an unchecked shopping compulsion, filling closets with unworn clothes, hoarding unnecessary items, and ultimately revealing the underlying addiction that had been masked for years.
His work in counseling started as an academic pursuit, not a personal mission. But as he spent more time in the field, he recognized the same patterns in his patients that he had seen in his own home. The obsession, the compulsion—it was all the same. Whether it was alcohol, gambling, or shopping, addiction always stemmed from the same core issues.
The Grip of Addiction
Though Eric didn’t battle substance use personally, he witnessed its destruction daily. Working as a counselor in a county prison, he saw firsthand how addiction tore lives apart. “People from all walks of life go to jail. It’s not just one type of person.” The majority of inmates he worked with were there because of addiction—whether directly or indirectly. The recidivism rate was nearly 90%. He saw the same people cycling in and out, trapped in the grip of substance use and self-destruction.
His work environment took a toll on him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. “I didn’t realize how much stress I was carrying until I’d get home and still be in ‘prison mode.’” It affected his relationships—he recalls one moment when his girlfriend had to remind him, “You’re not in the jail.” His response? “You’re damn right we’re not, because if we were, I’d have some f**ing cooperation right now.”* That wake-up call made him realize that the emotional and psychological weight of addiction—whether experienced directly or secondhand—was inescapable.
Active Addiction - The Descent
After years in mental health and correctional counseling, Eric burned out. He took what he thought was a “normal desk job” at Easter Seals but quickly realized he hated it. “Second day in, I knew it wasn’t for me.” When he finally quit, what was supposed to be a short break turned into six months of unemployment and desperation. He applied for every job he could find—nothing worked out.
Then, the only door left open was Karen Treatment Center. “I wasn’t interested in addiction counseling at the time. I thought I’d do six months, rebuild my savings, and move on.” But something changed. The moment he sat in on his first group therapy session, something clicked. “The hairs on my arms stood up. I had missed this.” Six months turned into 18 years. He found his calling in helping others navigate the same pain he had witnessed in his own life.
The Path to Recovery
Working at Karen Treatment Center, Eric dedicated himself to understanding addiction from every angle. He trained in sex addiction, gambling addiction, and workaholism. He worked with lawyers, first responders, and high-profile clients struggling with addiction’s grip.
He learned that addiction, no matter the substance or behavior, is rooted in pain. “People come to treatment because they’re in pain. Either internal pain or external pressure. But at the core of it, they’re hurting.”
One of the most profound lessons he teaches his patients? “The hardest part isn’t walking into treatment. The hardest part is walking back in when you’ve relapsed.” The shame and self-doubt can be paralyzing, but he makes sure every returning patient hears one thing: “I’m glad to see you alive.”
Life today
Eric has built a career dedicated to breaking the cycle of addiction and dysfunction. He uses his own experiences—not as someone in recovery, but as someone deeply impacted by addiction—to connect with the people he helps.
Today, he’s outspoken about the dangers of gambling, online addictions, and the rise of accessibility to destructive behaviors. He speaks publicly about the crisis, advocating for awareness and policy changes. His goal isn’t just to help people stop using; it’s to help them build a life worth staying sober for.
His message to anyone struggling? “Sobriety doesn’t guarantee life gets easier. Sometimes it feels worse before it gets better. But it will get better. And the opportunities you’ll have sober are ones you’d never get if you’re still using.”
FAQs
What are the biggest warning signs of addiction?
Obsession and compulsion. If you find yourself constantly thinking about a substance or behavior and can’t stop once you start, it’s a red flag.
Can addiction be genetic?
Yes. There’s often a genetic predisposition, but environmental factors play a huge role in whether someone develops an addiction.
Is gambling addiction as serious as drug addiction?
Absolutely. Gambling triggers the same reward pathways in the brain as cocaine and can lead to financial ruin, relationship breakdowns, and severe mental health struggles.
How do I know if I need professional help?
If your substance use or behavior is negatively impacting your life—work, relationships, health—it’s time to seek help.
Can someone who has struggled with addiction ever drink or gamble in moderation?
For most people who have crossed the line into addiction, moderation isn’t an option. The safest approach is complete abstinence.
-
website
Related episodes
ABOUT CROSSTALK
CROSSTALK reveals real stories of everyday people and notable figures, sharing their journeys from struggles to life-changing 'aha' moments with all kinds .
