SUICIDE, ADDICTION, and RECOVERY | How ADDICTION and PRISON Pushed to ROCK BOTTOM
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Show Notes
In this episode, Kyle shares his story of addiction, a chaotic life filled with alcohol, and his journey from a promising career to federal prison. Kyle’s experiences are deeply relatable for anyone struggling with addiction.
What things looked like growing up
Growing up, Kyle moved around frequently due to being a military brat, never staying at the same school for more than two years until high school. His parents’ divorce at age 14 was a pivotal moment that deeply affected him, fueling feelings of instability and inadequacy. He recalls feeling like he was always “less than” others, battling insecurity about everything from family circumstances to his self-worth. This emotional turmoil laid the groundwork for his later struggles.
First time using a substance and engaging in behavioral addiction
Kyle’s first encounter with alcohol was at age 15, during which he was immediately busted. This early experience was a sign of what was to come—his inability to control his drinking was evident from the start. He recalls drinking competitively, striving to prove something, and constantly chasing that feeling of “fitting in” or being “better than.” Alcohol quickly became his coping mechanism, and the downward spiral began.
Active using and active behavioral addiction
In his early twenties, Kyle’s life was consumed by alcohol and marijuana. He held down prestigious jobs in politics, but his professional success was overshadowed by his heavy drinking and frequent blackouts. He describes the chaos he caused at home and work, constantly stumbling home in the early hours and barely functioning the next day. Relationships suffered, and his erratic behavior isolated him from friends and family.
Hitting bottom
Kyle hit his lowest point after a failed relationship and a severe suicide attempt at age 23. This period marked a profound emotional breakdown, where his life felt completely out of control. His despair led him to federal prison, where he spent three and a half years—years that should have been his early career prime. Despite these consequences, he continued to believe he was the exception, refusing to accept responsibility for his actions.
Getting help
Kyle’s path to recovery wasn’t linear. After prison, he continued drinking and living in a destructive pattern, evading therapy and blaming others for his situation. However, the loss of his girlfriend to cancer became a turning point, forcing him to confront his behavior. He finally sought help through sobriety, fitness, and connecting with strong influences who helped him change his mindset. Slowly, he began to accept accountability, letting go of the self-destructive ego that had driven him for so long.
What things look like today
Today, Kyle lives a life far from the chaos of his past. He has built a career in construction, and although his journey hasn’t been without challenges, he has found stability and joy in a life of sobriety. He now uses his story to help others, showing that recovery is possible regardless of how far down you’ve gone. Kyle’s transformation is a testament to resilience and the power of taking control of your own narrative.
FAQs
How can I tell if my drinking is a problem?
If your drinking is affecting your relationships, job, or mental health, it’s worth seeking help.
What is the hardest part of recovery?
Many find the hardest part is admitting they need help and letting go of their ego.
Can you recover from addiction without a 12-step program?
Yes, there are many paths to recovery, including therapy, fitness, and community support.
How do you rebuild trust after addiction?
Consistency, honesty, and taking accountability for past actions are key steps in rebuilding trust.
What are some early warning signs of addiction?
Frequent blackouts, prioritizing substance use over responsibilities, and failed attempts to cut back are common signs.
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