Why Sober Life Takes Effort | Matt W.
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Growing up in a loving family outside of New York City, Matt Williams had everything he needed—supportive parents, a good home, and endless possibilities. But behind the surface of a normal childhood, something darker was brewing. Undiagnosed ADHD made it hard for him to focus, and as a teen, he discovered a thrill in getting away with things—starting with alcohol. What began as sneaking drinks at sleepovers soon spiraled into a cycle of blackouts, consequences, and self-destruction.
By his late 20s, Matt's drinking had taken him to some of the darkest places imaginable—waking up in unknown locations, getting behind the wheel in dangerous states, and ultimately, crashing his car on May 15, 2010. That night changed everything. Stripped down in a jumpsuit, facing inmates whose crimes went beyond DUIs, he finally realized: he couldn’t keep living this way. Recovery wasn’t easy. He fought through loneliness, self-doubt, and the weight of rebuilding his life from scratch. But through relentless perseverance, he not only got sober but built a career, a family, and a thriving business—one step at a time.
Matt’s story is proof that no matter how deep the hole, there’s always a way out. If you’re struggling with addiction or know someone who is, this episode will give you hope, perspective, and the motivation to keep going. His journey will inspire you to face your own challenges, embrace change, and build a future beyond addiction.
A childhood defined by Chaos
He had what many would call an ideal childhood—a loving family, two older brothers, and parents who instilled a strong work ethic in him from an early age. Growing up in a small town just outside of New York City, life seemed simple. He played outside, ran through the neighborhood, and explored nature, always chasing something—perhaps a distraction, perhaps a purpose.
But beneath the surface, there was something restless. "I probably had undiagnosed ADHD as a kid," he admitted. He found himself bouncing between interests—sports, music, anything that could hold his attention. The need to keep moving, to avoid stillness, was always there.
As he grew older, he started to see differences between himself and his peers. While they seemed to fit into clear roles—athletes, scholars, the social elite—he felt caught somewhere in between. He was constantly searching for where he belonged, and soon enough, he found something that made him feel like he did.
The First Drink and the Escape It Brought
His first drink wasn’t just about the alcohol—it was about the thrill. “For me, it was about the manipulation and getting away with it,” he shared. He realized early on that alcohol wasn’t just a drink; it was an escape, a game, a way to be someone different.
Growing up in a town where parties happened in cul-de-sac basements and booze was stolen from parents' cabinets, drinking became a rite of passage. He learned how to play the system, how to make people believe he was the responsible kid while sneaking around in the shadows. It felt like control. It felt like power. But power built on deception never lasts.
The Grip of Addiction
At first, drinking was just a weekend thing. Then, it became more frequent. Before he knew it, alcohol wasn’t something he indulged in—it was something he needed. Nights blurred into blackouts. There were moments of fear, waking up in unfamiliar places, getting lost in the city, driving home and not remembering how he got there.
“There were times I ended up in different parts of the city… even driving home after bartending, I would take the wrong exit and suddenly, I didn’t know where I was.”
Friends started moving on—going to grad school, getting married, building their lives. Meanwhile, he was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction, convincing himself that he was fine. That he could stop anytime. That he wasn’t like the others.Until one night changed everything.
Active Addiction - The Descent
It was May 15, 2010. The night started like any other—drinking, pushing limits, convincing himself that he was in control. But control was an illusion.
He remembers getting behind the wheel, his mind clouded with alcohol, his body running on autopilot. Then—impact.
Everything slowed down. The aftermath was a blur, but the reality hit hard. He wasn’t just risking his own life anymore. He was reckless. He was dangerous. He was out of control.
Jail wasn’t just a punishment—it was a wake-up call. As he sat there in a jumpsuit, surrounded by people whose stories were even darker than his own, he realized something: I don’t belong here… but if I keep going like this, I will.
His mother’s voice on the phone was heartbreakingly calm. “I love you,” she said, “but if you need anything, call your brothers.” She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t yelling. She was done. That moment broke him.
The Path to Recovery
When he finally reached out for help, he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. A friend in recovery answered his call. No judgment. No lectures. Just simple words: What do you need me to do?
That was the first time he admitted—to someone else, but mostly to himself—that he had a problem.
Rehab wasn’t easy. Sobriety wasn’t easy. The shame, the guilt, the weight of past decisions—they didn’t disappear overnight. But for the first time, he wasn’t running anymore. He was facing the wreckage of his past head-on.
He had to learn how to live again. How to show up. How to rebuild the trust he had shattered. How to forgive himself.
He biked for miles just to get to meetings. He worked jobs that tested his patience, that made him question if he was strong enough. He had to fight for his sobriety every single day. And then, something changed.
Life today
Years later, he doesn’t just exist—he lives. He built a life, a career, a sense of purpose he never thought possible. He started a business from nothing, creating something real and tangible out of his pain.
But most importantly, he found himself.
The restless boy from New York, the one who was always chasing something—he finally found what he was looking for.
Not in alcohol.
Not in deception.
Not in the rush of getting away with things.
But in recovery.
“I don’t get the Sunday Scaries anymore,” he said with a smile. “I wake up, and I want to be here.”
For anyone still in the dark, still questioning if they can ever be happy, ever be whole—he has one message:
You can. You absolutely can. But you have to want it. You have to fight for it. And when you do… life will be better than you ever imagined.
FAQs
What is the most difficult part of getting sober?
Accepting that you need help and letting go of the shame surrounding addiction.
Can you recover from addiction without rehab?
Yes, but it requires a strong support system, accountability, and a structured recovery plan.
How do I rebuild trust after addiction?
Through consistent actions, honesty, and time. Trust isn’t given—it’s earned.
What helps the most in early recovery?
Routine, a strong community, and replacing old habits with healthy coping mechanisms.
Does sobriety really get easier?
Yes. The cravings lessen, the guilt fades, and life becomes fulfilling in ways you never expected.
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