I Was Sober for 30 Years. Then I Relapsed.
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With Corey.
On this week’s episode of Crosstalk Podcasts, we sit down with Corey Rabin for a deeply personal conversation about addiction, recovery, relapse, and finding a way forward.
Corey’s story is different from many recovery stories because his journey didn’t end after getting sober.
He stayed sober for 30 years.
Then he relapsed.
What followed was another painful chapter of addiction, treatment, shame, and ultimately, a renewed understanding of what recovery really means.
Trying to Feel Comfortable in My Own Skin
Long before Corey understood addiction, he understood what it felt like to want to be someone else.
Growing up, Corey often used humor to connect with people and protect himself. Being funny became a way to deflect, fit in, and feel comfortable.
Later, in college, drugs and alcohol seemed to offer something similar.
They made him feel funnier, more confident, more attractive, and more social.
For a while, substances seemed to solve the very discomfort he had been carrying.
But eventually, the line was crossed.
What started as a way to feel better became something he could no longer control.
The Wake-Up Call Wasn’t Enough
Corey’s addiction eventually led to an overdose involving Quaaludes.
He woke up in a hospital, having survived something that could have ended very differently.
But even after the overdose, he found two Quaaludes in his clothes and took them.
That moment forced him to recognize something he had been avoiding: he might have a problem.
In 1982, Corey entered treatment.
The experience introduced him to recovery, self-reflection, journaling, and the importance of connecting with other people who understood what he was going through.
One of the lessons that stayed with him was simple:
Recovery is a process, not an event.
Learning How to Live in Recovery
Getting sober wasn’t just about stopping drugs.
Corey had to learn how to live differently.
That meant changing the people, places, and things around him. It meant finding ways to have fun without substances. It meant building relationships with people who supported his sobriety.
His spiritual understanding of recovery also developed over time.
For Corey, spirituality wasn’t necessarily about religion.
It was about kindness, honesty, doing the next right thing, and becoming more present in his life.
Recovery gradually brought him back to parts of himself that had been buried by addiction.
When 30 Years of Sobriety Felt Like Protection.
For decades, Corey stayed sober.
He built a successful life, gained recognition, and developed a strong sense of confidence.
But eventually, some of that confidence became a problem.
Corey describes developing a false sense of self-esteem through success and recognition.
He had been sober for so long that he began taking his recovery for granted.
The belief that he was doing well made it easier to forget that addiction was something he still needed to take seriously.
That became one of the most important lessons of his recovery.
Time sober is something to be grateful for.
It is not immunity.
The Relapse I Thought Couldn’t Happen
After roughly 30 years of sobriety, Corey faced physical surgeries and pain.
Oxycodone was prescribed to help manage that pain.
At first, it seemed manageable.
Then the amount began to increase.
Eventually, Corey found himself taking enormous quantities of oxycodone and experiencing withdrawal when he didn’t have it.
At the same time, he was slowly disconnecting from the people and practices that had helped keep him sober.
Meetings became less frequent.
Connections began to disappear.
And the rationalizations started.
Eventually, alcohol became part of the picture too.
His family noticed the changes.
His son eventually found vodka bottles, forcing Corey to confront what was happening.
The shame was overwhelming.
After decades of sobriety, he had relapsed.
Coming Back Without Shame
In February, Corey made the decision to return to treatment.
This time, the experience was different.
He already knew about recovery. He knew the language. He knew what treatment looked like.
But he also understood that knowing the answers wasn’t enough.
What mattered was being willing to live them.
One of Corey’s biggest fears wasn’t what other people would think.
It was what the relapse might do to his relationships with his wife and children.
Over time, however, his perspective changed.
Instead of viewing relapse only as something to be ashamed of, Corey began to see it as another part of his story.
A painful part.
But one that could potentially help someone else.
Why Corey’s Story Matters
Addiction doesn’t always look like someone who has lost everything.
Sometimes it looks like success.
Sometimes it looks like decades of sobriety.
Sometimes it looks like someone who believes they have moved far enough away from addiction that it could never happen again.
Corey’s story is a reminder that recovery is not something you graduate from.
It is an ongoing process of honesty, connection, humility, and self-awareness.
And relapse does not have to be the end of the story.
Sometimes, it can become another beginning.
Corey’s journey shows that getting sober is only part of recovery.
The deeper work is learning how to live, how to stay connected, how to ask for help, and how to use what you have been through to help someone else.
FAQs
Who is Corey Rabin?
Corey Rabin is a person in long-term recovery and one of the people behind Crosstalk Podcasts. In this episode, he shares his personal experience with addiction, treatment, decades of sobriety, relapse, and returning to recovery.
Did Corey relapse after 30 years of sobriety?
Yes. Corey shares that after roughly 30 years sober, he developed a dependence on oxycodone following physical surgeries and later began drinking alcohol as well. He eventually returned to treatment and rebuilt his recovery.
What happened during Corey’s first recovery?
Corey entered treatment in 1982 after his addiction to Quaaludes had escalated, including an overdose. Treatment introduced him to recovery, self-reflection, journaling, 12-step meetings, and the importance of connection.
What does Corey say about relapse?
Corey speaks openly about the shame and embarrassment he initially felt after relapsing. Over time, he came to see his experience differently and recognized that his relapse could become part of what allowed him to help others.
What is Crosstalk Podcasts about?
Crosstalk is designed as a tool in the recovery toolbox, creating honest conversations around addiction and recovery while giving back what has been freely given to people in recovery.
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I Was Sober for 30 Years. Then I Relapsed.