Was I Hiding My Addiction in the Music? | Duran V.
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Duran Lowe was once a rising star — signed to record deals, playing packed shows, and living fast in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. But behind the spotlight was a deep addiction that nearly ended his life. From childhood dreams and fame to financial struggles, heartbreak, and self-destruction, Duran shares how his life spiraled into chaos — and the moment he finally surrendered. Today, he’s rebuilding his life, creating music with purpose, and inspiring others through his recovery.
A Creative Soul in Chaos
Duran Lowe’s life began with rhythm. Born in San Francisco to artistic parents — his father, a drummer, and his mother, an immigrant from Uruguay — music and movement were part of his DNA. But alongside creativity came instability. “We were living in the Tenderloin, stepping over needles,” he recalls. His parents’ struggles and the chaotic environment planted early seeds of uncertainty and pain. By the time the family settled in Florida, young Duran was already chasing adrenaline — skateboarding, causing trouble, and longing to belong.
The First Hit: Chasing Escape
At just 17, after his first band Kicking Daisies broke up, Duran reached for something to fill the void. “I had weed for the first time, and I was in love,” he admits. What began as curiosity quickly became dependency. As success and fame grew, so did the shadows. “We were still playing shows, still partying—it was fun. Nobody starts off because it stinks. The beginning is fun.” The substances dulled the pain but slowly eroded his sense of self.
The Spiral: Fame, Addiction, and Isolation
After moving to Los Angeles and signing a record deal, Duran’s dream became his downfall. “I was sinking deep into my addiction,” he says. The advances, the parties, the endless nights — everything blurred together in a haze of alcohol and denial. When his career slowed, he chased validation through relationships and drinking. “All my money just went toward gas, girlfriend, alcohol,” he recalls. The day drinking escalated to the point where he’d “wake up and take four shots instead of one or two.” His girlfriend left, his body bloated, and his spirit broke. “I wanted to kill myself. I didn’t want to deal with it.”
Hitting Bottom: The Ego Death in the Desert
The breaking point came during a music festival in 2023 — vodka, acid, weed, and shrooms all colliding into one horrific night. “I was melting, full-blown ego death. It was like being squashed by a merciless God.” For the first time, he saw his life for what it was — a string of self-destruction, wasted talent, and lost relationships. “I was terrified. Everything I’d been suppressing came rushing up.” By the time he returned to Vegas, he was drinking to survive the very awareness that was supposed to save him.
The Turning Point: Getting Help
His best friend Cameron — the same boy who drove him to his first band practice at 12 — now drove him to rehab. “He told me, ‘Get a plane ticket. The party’s over. Go home.’” With help from MusiCares and the Caron Treatment Center, Duran finally entered treatment. “I didn’t know what I was going to feel, but I experienced the full spectrum of the human condition.” He describes crying, healing, and learning to face himself for the first time. He found community in recovery and began reconnecting to music — this time without the bottle.
Life Today: Redemption Through Music and Purpose
Today, Duran’s life is grounded in gratitude, not chaos. He’s rebuilding his career with clarity, writing from a place of truth rather than pain. He attends meetings, works with a sponsor, and mentors others who are struggling. “This really wasn’t about not drinking — it was about finally seeing myself,” he reflects. His music, once an escape, is now his medicine. “Everything was lifted at that moment,” he says. “It’s all meant to be. Maybe I was meant to go through it so I could help others.”
Through vulnerability, art, and honesty, Duran Lowe proves that even in the aftermath of addiction, recovery is possible — and beautiful.
FAQs
How can musicians get help for addiction?
Organizations like MusiCares and Caron Treatment Centers offer specialized support for artists in recovery.What’s the link between creativity and addiction?
Many artists use substances to manage emotional intensity — but recovery often amplifies creativity, not suppresses it.How do I know if I’ve hit rock bottom?
When using stops being fun and starts destroying your relationships, health, or peace, it’s time to seek help.What’s the first step toward getting sober?
Reach out — to a friend, a hotline, or a professional. Admitting the problem is the first act of courage.Can you recover without a 12-step program?
Yes. Many find recovery through therapy, community programs, or spiritual growth outside of traditional frameworks.
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