Are You Tired of Your Own Story? | Richard & John
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In this powerful episode, Rich and John open up about their raw and honest journeys through addiction, trauma, family dysfunction, and the fight to rebuild their lives. From using drugs as early as 12 to surviving overdoses, violence, homelessness, and a fatal car accident, their stories reveal the truth behind desperation and recovery.
Growing Up
Growing up, Rich and John lived two very different childhoods — yet both were rooted in chaos, emotional absence, and patterns of generational pain that shaped the way they saw themselves and the world. For Rich, everything changed when his parents divorced.
He went from being a kid who “never would have used any drugs” to smoking pot within a week, and shortly after, shooting heroin. “I always felt a little bit like there was something wrong with me,” he said — a belief that followed him into adolescence and adulthood.
John’s early life was marked by secrecy, unresolved trauma, and parents who loved him but weren’t equipped to give him the emotional attachment he craved. He describes himself as a “chameleon,” constantly shifting who he was to get approval and affection. “I learned to be whatever anybody needed me to be,” he said, a pattern that would shape his addiction for years.
The First Time
Their first encounters with substances weren’t about partying — they were about comfort. Rich felt an immediate pull toward the escape drugs provided. John found cigarettes at eight and alcohol soon after, discovering early that substances quieted the discomfort brewing inside. “It made everything okay in a world where I just didn’t feel okay,” John shared. These early experiences rewired the way they coped with life, cementing addictive behaviors as their default emotional survival strategy.
Active Addiction
Active addiction consumed them quickly. Rich’s teenage years spiraled into a full-blown drug life rooted in danger, overdoses, and violence. “I had 13 friends I hung out with… nine of them died,” he said. By 22, he had survived multiple overdoses, a fatal car accident, and nights so dark he barely recognized himself. His life became a rotating door of rehabs, drugs, and near-death experiences. John’s addiction looked different but hurt just as deeply. His addictions intertwined with codependency, anger, and self-abandonment. “I had to be the victim of my story in order to perpetuate my behavior,” he said — a line that reveals how his pain became fuel for choices that only hurt him further.
Hitting Bottom
Their bottoms were emotional as much as they were physical. Rich reached a point where he was “tired of disappointing my family, tired of disappointing my friends, and tired of disappointing me.” The chaos, the overdoses, the wreckage — it finally caught up to him. John’s bottom came when he realized he was weaponizing his story, using anger and emotional pain as armor. “The anger is only going to hurt you,” he said, reflecting on how his survival mechanisms eventually became the very things destroying him.
Getting Help
Getting help wasn’t simple — but it was transformative. Rich walked into a 12-step meeting by accident and never turned back. “Somebody just pulled me,” he said, describing the moment he chose recovery. Guidance from old-timers, sponsorship, and learning to be of service rebuilt his life from the ground up. John found clarity through deep written inventory, rewriting his story, processing trauma, and finally releasing the victim identity that once defined him. “I was able to rewrite my story and no longer be the victim,” he said — a powerful testament to internal change.
What Life Looks Like Today
Today, their lives reflect the reward of long-term healing. Rich has more than 40 years sober and a life built around service, compassion, and growth. John is grounded, emotionally aware, spiritually connected, and passionate about helping others discover the “magic of identification.” Both speak openly about their pasts — not with shame, but with purpose. Their stories remind us that no matter how broken the past feels, recovery is always possible. Healing is always possible. A meaningful life is always possible.
FAQs
1. What causes addiction in people with difficult childhoods?
Childhood trauma and unmet emotional needs can make substances feel like relief, creating early addictive patterns.Why do people keep using substances even when their life is falling apart?
Addiction rewires the brain, making substances feel like the only way to cope with emotional pain.Can someone recover after multiple relapses?
Absolutely — relapse is common, and many people find long-term recovery after several attempts.What is codependency, and how does it fuel addiction?
Codependency creates a lack of internal self-worth, pushing individuals to seek validation through harmful behaviors.How do you know when someone has hit “rock bottom”?
Rock bottom is reached when the emotional, physical, or spiritual pain becomes impossible to ignore.
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